Sa mère la pute 2013.

Then sun barely went up today.

We must be close to Christmas, tells my body to my brain, which had been most conveniently hiding the truth from me since months.
I want 2013 to be over so badly but when I think we have to go through the whole Christmas-New Year's Eve-Holidays bullshit before that, I want to barf in advance.

My mind suffers from a pre-indigestion.

Until then, I always somehow managed to maintain a sort of illusion around the goddamn Holidays.

I used to get Grinchy but then quickly let go and yield to this fucking pine-scented, snow-covered, cinnamon-tasting red & green crap.
I used to look forward to decorate the tree, bake cookies, drink hot chocolate, wear warm socks...
And I love to make presents so much.

But this year, fucking year 2013,
I realize that I was just trying to cling to what was left of good childhood memories,
to preserve a childish innocence I should have lost long ago.

I realize, a little late, that Christmas is just about two things :
- family,
- money.

But this year, fucking year 2013, I happen to lack of the latter,
and HATE the other one.

Don't get me wrong,
I try to look on the bright side of life, having a roof over my head, having pasta to eat, and all.
And I don't know how to finish this note without sounding like a completely spoiled brat.

But I'm just wondering if I can take any more blows from 2013,
and the answer is probably...
NO.

Went to the corner of second and main
but there was someone there who mentioned
that they hoped it would rain forever, forever,
so they could drown in peace.

Went down to the Hodskin P.L.
But there was nobody to answer
when I rang the doorbell forever,
forever.
So now I'm sad all the time.

Sick and sad again,
sometimes I'd like the rain to end.
Sick and sad again,
sometimes I like to stand on my own two feet.