Monday, September 30, 2013

Now that I tried to live into the World, I can say "It's okay, I don't need you either"



So I'm alone and nothing means ANYTHING any more.
ESPECIALLY NOT anything I could say.
I don't know what to think and it doesn't matter,
I don't care what you say and I don't listen anyway.
You think your opinion counts? It doesn't.
You think your words affect me, but they DON'T.
I am me, at least I try,
but I can't even stand my own presence.
I want to put that feeling into images,
I want to CREATE something out of it,
but it remains stuck in my head.
So I feed myself on other people's minds
but ALL I can think of it is "I wish I had thought of it first".
I'm SO dissatisfied - and even more at my attempt to change things.
It's a fucking loop, never ending.
I have no pause button.




Images are from Vanbot's music video "When my heart breaks"

The truth is:
I wish for more but am too lazy to try and make it true.
Too scared, too.

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